5 Lies People Tell You

Continuing the joy of Blog About 5 Things Week, here is a list of five cases when what people say should not be taken at face value. I hope you enjoy the list, and don’t think badly of me for thinking this way. If you disagree, or have some more things you’d like to add, I’d be happy to see your comments. Thanks for reading, especially if you arrived here through Instigator Blog, and I hope you’ll check back regularly.

1. I’ll do the dishes - Whenever someone says this, usually in the context, “Oh, don’t worry about them. I’ll take care of the dishes later," it really means that after two days, dishes still-undone and overflowing, you will have to suck it up and wash them yourself if you feel like having a glass of water. This tends to be followed by silence from the other party, or, on occasion, something like the following: “Hey, you didn’t need to do those. I was planning on finishing them tonight.”
2. Sorry I can’t come - This is a classic line that means, “Dude, your party/meeting/event sucks, and I wouldn’t be caught dead there. Sorry about your life.” If you haven’t realized this by now, well, sorry. Real friends will make you change things if they can’t attend. Or send you money.
3. I’m registered such-and-such, but I vote for the candidate, not the party - Bullshit. Not only do these people vote even more strictly along party lines, they are cowards, and are ashamed. Not ashamed of what they believe, but of the fact that they don’t really know why they believe what they do. I have no problem with not being an expert on “politics,” and think everybody could use a more open mind and some education, but no one gets anywhere by refusing to speak their mind. Regardless of what you know or don’t know, keeping your mouth shut and remaining non-confrontational by saying something like the above is the surest way to keep the truth from ever being discovered. Take a risk, and say something. You might make a complete ass of yourself, but you’ll learn something in the process.
4. You look great - No you don’t. If you’re an American, you’re probably overweight. And that’s just not healthy or sexy. Chalk this one up to wishful thinking.
5. I love you

Okay, so maybe that last one isn’t always a lie. I mean I mean it when I say it. And I know my girlfriend means it, too. But isn’t the reason people wait so long to say it in relationships that they want to be sure that it’s true? Doesn’t this seem to suggest that some people might say it who aren’t sure if they mean it 100%? I’m not sure where I am going with this, exactly. Maybe there is something interesting in all this about the ambiguity of language, and people’s reluctance to say what it is they feel. Fear of offending, fear of confusion, of vulnerability - these fears aren’t “necessary in civilized society,” but stifle true, meaninful expression and harm the free exchange of ideas.

So, I guess, what I’m saying is, “I love you. Now do the damn dishes.”