31 October 2007

Google Announces OpenSocial, Zuckerberg Cries

It’s official. Facebook and MySpace are going down, even if that’s not the point. Google’s new OpenSocial thing (which is not a social network in and of itself) will allow you to carry your information and activity and apps across social networks, freeing you from the data lock in these Walled Gardens (that’s the nice way of saying Roach Motel) like Facebook, where the flow of information is only in one direction. For developers this is huge, and means they can write apps that function all over, and are coded in standard and ubiquitous HTML and JavaScript, rather than proprietary formats like Facebook Markup Language.

The Web is the platform. There’s no need for more platforms on top of that. Google totally gets it. Some really exciting developments from this company lately.

Some great insight here from the great Marc Andreessen.

Post-dated press release is below (from John Battelle):

Google Launches OpenSocial to Spread Social Applications Across the Web

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA -- November 1, 2007 – Google, Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced the release of OpenSocial -- a set of common APIs for building social applications across the web -- for developers of social applications and websites that want to add social features. OpenSocial will unleash more powerful and pervasive social capabilities for the web, empowering developers to build far-reaching applications that users can enjoy regardless of the websites, web applications, or social networks they use. The release of OpenSocial marks the first time that multiple social networks have been made accessible under a common API to make development and distribution easier and more efficient for developers.

The proliferation of unique APIs across dozens of social websites is forcing developers to choose which ones to write applications for – and then spend their time writing separately for each. OpenSocial gives developers of social applications a single set of APIs to learn for their application to run on any OpenSocial-enabled website. By providing these simple, standards-based technologies, OpenSocial will speed innovation and bring more social features to more places across the web. Users win too: they get more interesting, engaging, or useful features faster.

"The web is fundamentally better when it's social, and we're only just starting to see what's possible when you bring social information into different contexts on the web," said XXXX. "There's a lot of innovation that will be spurred simply by creating a standard way for developers to run social applications in more places. With the input and iteration of the community, we hope OpenSocial will become a standard set of technologies for making the web social."

Learn Once, Reach Across the Web

One of the most important benefits of OpenSocial is the vast distribution network that developers will have for their applications. The sites that have already committed to supporting OpenSocial -- Website Partner A, Website Partner B, Website Partner C, etc. –- represent an audience of well over 100 million users globally. Critical for time- and resource-strapped developers is being able to "learn once, write anywhere" -- learn the OpenSocial APIs once and then build applications that work with any OpenSocial-enabled websites.

Several developers, including Gadget Partner Z, Gadget Partner Y, Gadget Partner X, etc., have already built applications that use the OpenSocial APIs. Starting today, a developer sandbox is available at http://sandbox.orkut.com so developers can go in and start testing the OpenSocial APIs. The goal is to have developers build applications in the sandbox so they can deploy on Orkut and ultimately other OpenSocial sites.

More Social In More Places

The existence of this single programming model also helps websites who are eager to satisfy their users' interest in social features. More developers building social applications more easily translates directly into more features more quickly for websites.

"Orkut has tens of millions of passionate users who are constantly clamoring for new ways to have fun with their friends and express themselves through Orkut," said Amar Gandhi, group product manager for Orkut, Google's social networking service. "By using OpenSocial to open up Orkut as a platform for any developer, we can tap into the vast creativity of the community and make new features available to our users frequently."

The common method that OpenSocial provides for hosting social applications means that websites can engage a much larger pool of third party developers than they could otherwise. They can direct resources that might have gone to maintaining a proprietary API and supporting its developer community to other projects.

Because OpenSocial removes the hassle from developing for individual websites, developers can unleash their creativity anywhere that catches their interest. This will translate into a wave of social features in contexts outside of the personal entertainment and games that are traditionally thought of as the social web.

Three APIs available now

The OpenSocial APIs give developers access to the data needed to build social applications: access to a user's profile, their friends, and the ability to let their friends know that activities have taken place. OpenSocial resources for developers and websites are available now at code.google.com/apis/opensocial.

Developers will have access to:
- Three JavaScript and Gdata APIs to access social functions
- A live developer sandbox on Orkut at sandbox.orkut.com

Websites will have access to:
- A tool to help OpenSocial-enable their websites
- A support forum for communicating with Google and other websites

All of these resources and the live developer sandbox are available now.

Developers already at work

Dozens of developers have helped test early iterations of the OpenSocial APIs and Google is grateful for the extensive feedback they have provided.

[List of all gadget developers]

Links to these gadgets are available at http://code.google.com/apis/opensocial.

30 October 2007

Editor Of Wired Blocking Crappy PR Email

Chris Anderson, Editor in Chief of Wired Magazine and author of the influential “The Long Tail (Why the Future of Business is Selling Less of More),” has just done something remarkable on his blog.

He has posted the email address to dozens and dozens of PR people who have sent him “something inappropriate at some point in the past 30 days,” and which he has added to his blocked list in Outlook. Hardcore.

Anderson says he only wants two kinds of email: “those from people I know, and those from people who have taken the time to find out what I'm interested in and composed a note meant to appeal to that (I love those emails; indeed, that's why my email address is public).” And he doesn’t care if publishing this list of emails leads to them getting picked up by spammers. Reap what you sow, I guess.

Anderson also says that there is no getting off the list. If you want to email him, you’ll have to send from another address.

It’d be awesome if tech writers and other bloggers/journalists started contributing to this list (wiki-style, perhaps) of PR people who send boilerplate junk to any semi-relevant address they can find (or pay for). If this takes hold, and hundreds of people start adding these addresses to their own blocked lists, some real change in outdated and spam-like tactics might start to change. PR people will stop paying exorbitant amount of money for shadily-aggregated email lists because they won’t be effective. Another great side effect would be increased ease of telling apart the good from the bad. Which service is likely to be better - one that sends some boilerplate b.s. to 100,000 bloggers, or one that sends a nice, personal email to targeted people explaining why their service is relevant to the writer and his/her readers? Tough question, I know.

Here’s the list:

aaron@sunshinesachs.com
acoffaro@fortythreepr.com
actionengine@techmarket.com
admin@cartipostale.ro
adrian.richardson@ar-edelman.com
agarson@taylorpr.com
aheng@moca-nyc.org
alerts@alerts.shephard.co.uk
alessandra@livingdivani.it
alex@highwatergroup.com
alexanne.brown@edelman.com
amaury.laporte@diplomatie.gouv.fr
announcements@dmi.org
apartmenttherapy@app.topica.com
as@thehalogroup.net
athierer@pff.org
awaitkunas@gmail.com
bbrignac@tunheim.com
becky@mediafirst.net
blogworldexpo@gmail.com
bobkatz@easidemographics.com
bounces@darklight.ie
bozenawilkspr@aol.com
broesler@5wpr.com
brranko@gmail.com
bruce@newnetworks.com
bulletin@safe-democracy.org
burrill_life_sciences_media_group@vnh10.net
business_travel_news@vnh10.net
callcenter_events@tig.cmptechnetwork.com
carol.tong@bitepr.com
ccashin@laforce-stevens.com
cemerson@webershandwick.com
cheryl.taylor@chorion.co.uk
chilife@topica.email-publisher.com
chilife1@topica.email-publisher.com
chris@iwebtrack.com
chris@onnetusa.com
chriskeswani@onnetusa.com
chuck@broadwick.com
clay.agee@intermarkgroup.com
clickabilitycentral@nl.clickability.com
cmarch@shiftcomm.com
cmoreno@5wpr.com
cmsprmv@yahoo.com
connect@mailer.idgconnect.com
contact@freenyc.net
contact@mecfilms.com
contact@thejsf.org
cw@email.computerweekly.com
cynthia@emediadynamics.com
dan@onewordphotography.com
danielaschrier@rationalpr.com
danielle@popculturepr.com
dasrate@5wpr.com
davenetz@wallstcom.com
david.cross@ableton.com
david@banktrack.org
dbakker@kirvindoak.com
dberry@5wpr.com
dealmakermedia@response.whatcounts.com
dehartdottie@aol.com
dhenderson@peterlangone.ccsend.com
dice_newsmail-bounces@virtual-hideout.net
dkadakia@inventures.com
dkogan@rsowens.com
domondond@thirteen.org
drumbeat@comminit.com
ecomxpo@theonlinexpo.com
edison.lee@ogilvypr.com
editor@more.punchstock.com
eflyer@choicecutsonline.com
ekannett@sspr.com
email@dealmakermedia.com
emails@agencyaccess.com
engnews-bounces@rfanews.org
enotes@amnh.org
equalitynews@feitventures.com
erik@erikalmasphotography.com
evan@themarketingdivision.net
events@freenyc.net
events@mail.homeplug.org
events@sensesf.com
facilitator@americaspeaks.org
feedback@t-shirtsearchengine.com
financo@financo.com
fllamas@webershandwick.com
fttf@mww.com
gina.ghensi@analysys.com
guestlist@lushonline.com
hcohm@lgphilips-lcd.com
heather.mumm@fleishman.com
henk@isomedia.com
india-now@ibef.org
info.freespeech@gmail.com
info@artexpo.nu
info@asetek.com
info@cceia.org
info@csi-annual-event.p0.com
info@designboost.se
info@goodforparty.com
info@involver.com
info@policyinnovations.org
info@sustainabletable.org
info@tagonline.org
info@wordaffairs.com
internet@rsf.org
invest-now@ibef.org
is@news.imagesource.com
jamie.adams@ciscopress.com
jasperwireless@techmarket.com
jbrown@stantoncrenshaw.com
jdorfman@vivavi.com
jelena@crosbyvolmer.com
jennifer@credibilitybranding.com
jessica.tuquero@dc-intl.com
jgadley@gmi-mr.com
jill@market2world.com
jm@pmgintl.com
jmclaughlin@sspr.com
jmedrano@execforum.net
jmke.madshrimps@gmail.com
jmke@madshrimps.be
jneu@webershandwick.com
jodie@mpogd.com
john@larkinvolpatt.com
johnswren@aol.com
jonas.thornholm@xcerion.com
jorgen.nordin@end2endmobile.com
jroberts@hwhpr.com
jscoggins@doc.gov
julie@liaisonpr.com
julie@softscribeinc.com
justsystems@techmarket.com
kamika@sutherlandgold.com
katie@contosdunne.com
katie@fortythreepr.com
kcabrera@carabinerpr.com
kell@taylorcurtismedia.com
kelsi@investorscircle.net
kevin.johnson@techimage.com
kevind@text100.com
kfoley@coynepr.com
kim@scottandscottllp.com
klipsch@vnewscenter.com
klister@pr-vantage.com
krisj@geminiinc.com
krista@montageagency.com
kristen@hensonconsulting.com
kristien@prioritypr.net
kristin.coleman@morris-king.com
kszarkowitz@mporia.com
kthomas@thomas-pr.com
kwarman@b2zentertainment.com
kzox@nycap.rr.com
laurelkao@comcast.net
lauren@perkettpr.com
lauren@piercemattie.com
laurie@highwatergroup.com
lcapurro@jmprpublicrelations.com
leighnofi@sironline.com
levi@meiff.com
liaisonpr@liaisonpr.com
license@hypetraxx.com
lighthouse-list@independent.org
list@freepress.net
listmaster@soex.org
lkornblatt@sspr.com
llomasky@webershandwick.com
locone-bounces@dna-nyc.info
louis@future-works.com
lpalmer@comminit.com
lsambells@pressoffice.targetwire.com
maeilnews@mk.co.kr
mail@atoa.ws
mail@billiondollarbabes.com
mail@lensmodern.com
mail@pff.org
mailers@marketingmatters.net
mailman-bounces@box153.bluehost.com
mantos@sspr.com
marc@mail2.zogby.com
marge_casey__associates_rqbsrgb@cmpgnr.com
mark@choicecutsonline.com
marlenecheetahlearning@rogers.com
marquiswhoswho@email.marquiswhoswho.com
matt.otepka@104west.com
mchase@calysto.com
mclean@rodmclean.com
mcraig@ringling.edu
mdepoint@tunheim.com
mediacenter7@rothmedia.org
mediarelationsbounce@amnh.org
megang@mbooth.com
meghan@artfinancepartners.com
melissa.robbins@mtvnmix.com
melissa@pepcom.com
menziesbob@lages.com
mertine@melmpr.ccsend.com
messa@americanarab.com
michaeli@hwhpr.com
mika@platformlondon.org
mktinfo@pmai.org
mkusa@marketing.agefotostock.com
mlevine@lcoonline.com
morgan@allisonpr.com
morgan@gregoryfca.com
msg@msgnyc.com
mwalker@mww.com
news@metku.net
news@platformfestival.com
news@uiuc.edu
news@velocityreviews.com
news@vmagazine.com
news1@eprairie.com
news2@eprairie.com
newsbot@tweaktown.com
newsletter#27963.169@pink.nimbussoftware.com
newsletter@fineartamerica.com
newsletter@glass-inspiration.com
newsletter@worldsecuritynetwork.net
newsletters@chicblvd.com
newsletters@webshots.online.com
newwest@newwest.net
nfabris@corp.abiresearch.com
niewalda@kurzfilmtage.de
nikki@chicblvd.com
noe@future-works.com
no-reply@wetpaintmail.com
offers@mercurynews.com
ollie@commontime.ccsend.com
online_resources@cxolyris.cxomedia.com
paarmstrong@myspace.com
palm_software_newsletters@news.palmnewsletters.com
pam@techmarket.com
pandreu@5wpr.com
pattyb@gruman-nicoll.com
paula@kohnkecomm.com
pedro2nd@hotmail.com
petertulba@spe.sony.com
phil@contosdunne.com
photomonday@peterhollander.com
pih@bankinvest.dk
pine&gilmore@strategichorizons.com
pr@adremsoft.com
pr@elcomsoft.com
pr@mayocommunications.com
pr@welcomm.com
pr@xcerion.com
press@creditcovers.com
press@diacenter.org
press@freepress.net
press@lebook.com
press-bounces@taxjustice-usa.org
proctor@anet.net
promo@email.batteries.com
publications@houlihan-lokey.com
publicity@justrockpr.us
q@varnishfineart.com
qualcomm@qualcomm.com
rachel@inspire-communications.com
raghu.madabushi@opco.com
renata.guazzi@r-w.it
reply@reply.marketingsherpa.com
reply-34374@uptilt.com
resposito@5wpr.com
rexmore@themarketingdivision.net
rferguson@stantoncrenshaw.com
rferguson@thinkequity.com
rhart@nine-patch.com
rich@contosdunne.com
rick@montageagency.com
rippmedia@aol.com
robert.reeve@videojug.com
robertj@gymr.com
roger.howie@zaha-hadid.com
rpopko@webershandwick.com
rscanlan@gmail.com
rstephenson@cleanair-coolplanet.org
rsvp@believingisseeing.tv
rsvp@sonnenschein.com
s.goodrich@niveusmedia.com
salesinfo@diskeeper.com
sarah@caromarketing.com
scfowler@20m.ccsend.com
scleland@precursor.com
scoggin@waggeneredstrom.com
scover@crownpr.net
send78-proxymedia@caedefensefund.org
service@outpost.com
sfedulow@gcigroup.com
shannons@ferencomm.com
shipserv_newsflash@mail.vresp.com
stannenberger@mprm.com
stephanietrussell@gmail.com
steve@madeit.com
support@projectcamelot.org
swood@inxpo.com
syreeta@sparkpr.com
talentinfo@stocklandmartel.com
talia.andrews@fusionpr.com
ten@firstbornmultimedia.com
terrece.walker@mtvnmix.com
tesco.online@agboville.aviso.ci
tgould@shazaaam.com
thamer@delianet.com
thecallcenterschool@tallent.com
thesterlingreport@topica.email-publisher.com
thinking_out_loud@enews.1up.com
thomas.trenker@filmangelsclub.com
tim.billings@morris-king.com
tina@letoile-pr.de
tom.steiner@edelman.com
tomd@stylegroup.com
tribalddb_sydney@tribalddb.rsys1.com
trichardson@mrb-pr.com
tstadnicki@alphamediagroup.com
ttg-news@tweaktown.com
tvnewsday@tvnewsday.com
unitydeals@unityelectronics.com
update@activate.us
virtualworldsforum@dynamail.co.uk
vivek@rapleaf.us
wachovia.economics@wachovia.com
walmart@newsletters.walmart.com
wfeek@comminit.com
yj@onnetusa.com
yyamashita@lippetaylor.com
zingrec@zingmagazine.com

26 October 2007

Number One On Google

The World’s Fair blog has started a meme called “I rank number one on Google!

The rules:

Attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we'll take the other country specific ones if need be), you'll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.
You can use quotes if you have to. Allegedly, when you figure out your five results, you will learn the secret to making money by blogging!

Post the five on your blog, and, because it’s a meme, force all of your friends to participate (MySpace bulletins optional but recommended).

Here are mine, in order by number of other results because more results means more sites less cool than this blog:
Bring on yours!

25 Skills Every Man Should Have

My title is the more correct version of Popular Mechanics’ recently published list of 25 Skills Every Man Should Know. Last time I checked, you don’t know skills, you possess them. Another, perhaps more accurate rewording of the title would be 25 Pretty Stupid And Altogether Caveman-like Things You Should Know So You Can Avoid Doing Them At All Costs.

Here’s what I think about these Skills I should Know, taken one at a time. Follow along and keep score. And read the original article only if you want to wade through 25 worthless and banner-ad-riddled pages with hundreds of comments from guys saying, “Yeah, I can totally do number fourteen! Aren’t I super macho?”

  1. Patch a radiator hose: Which one’s the radiator hose? And how do I know it needs patching? And now that I think about it, I’m not sure if this is a car part or has something to do with heating your home.
  2. Protect your computer: Yes, it’s called “Getting a Mac.” But seriously, get some free virus software (don’t waste your money on Norton), some anti-spyware stuff, and stop visiting beast-porn websites and clicking on funny-looking links in emails from banks you don’t even use.
  3. Rescue a boater who has capsized: My question here is, was I in another boat? Or did I capsize, too? Because I know how to rescue myself. Swimming. And wearing a lifejacket. And not tipping the boat in the first place.
  4. Frame a wall: I actually do know how to do this. I can also put shingles on a roof. Both of these skills will come in handy exactly zero more times in my life. As far as I know, apartments in New York City don’t have shingles, nor would you ever want to make a room any smaller than it already is by dividing it in two.
  5. Retouch digital photos: Oh yeah. I have this one covered. My fully-legal copy of Photoshop is put to great use. You can, as a matter of fact, hire me to do this very thing.
  6. Back up a trailer: No way. Never. No how. Nope.
  7. Build a campfire: I was an Eagle Scout, which basically means that I’m in the top 1% of the American population when it comes to campfire-building.
  8. Fix a dead outlet: In theory, yes. In practice, not likely.
  9. Navigate with a map and compass: See number 7. Eagle Scouts are awesome.
  10. Use a torque wrench: What in God’s name is a torque wrench, and why would I need one?
  11. Sharpen a knife: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
  12. Perform CPR: Yeah, sure. Just don’t be mad at me if I can’t save you. It’s harder than it looks.
  13. Fillet a fish: Why?
  14. Maneuver a car out of a skid: This would come in handy if I had any desire to drive whatsoever. Also, if I decided to risk my life by driving like a fucking dipshit.
  15. Get a car unstuck: I laugh at my friends.
  16. Back up data: Yes. While I don’t have a super-awesome network backup with RAID and stuff, I do regular bootable backups of my MacBook Pro, maintain two more external drives with important files, and back up some of the most critical stuff (design projects, etc.) to my various web hosting accounts.
  17. Paint a room: Simple. Buy paint. Open paint. Dip brush. Paint on wall. Repeat.
  18. Mix concrete: Another critical life skill I have in fact learned to do. Comes in handy when I’m considering guerrilla public art projects like attaching a three-foot high concrete phallus to a sidewalk.
  19. Clean a bolt-action rifle: Nah. I like my firearms dirty and dangerous.
  20. Change oil and filter: If there’s one more freaking thing about driving...
  21. Hook up an HDTV: Pie. Easy as pie. Even easier if you know how to read.
  22. Bleed brakes: The people who wrote this list would be the ones bleeding if I had anything to say about it.
  23. Paddle a canoe: Oh yes. I can paddle a canoe. And I can yak a kayak. And pee on a fire. Thanks, Boy Scouts of America!
  24. Fix a bike flat: Sure. Seems easy enough.
  25. Extend your wireless network: Is this Viagra spam? I don’t know wtf Popular Mechanics is talking about here. Their tip? Buy better equipment. Well, no shit Sherlock. Isn’t that the answer to the mystery of life itself? Buy stuff. I’m sure they must’ve had some advertisement stuck in there, too.
In all, it looks like I got 100% (at least of the ones that are actually useful or important). I must say that it’s pretty obvious this list was put out by Popular Mechanics, not GQ or Wired or Maxim, otherwise we’d see more “buy stuff”, “torrent movies and buy stuff”, “objectify your neighbor and buy stuff” on the list, respectively.

How’d you fare? Ladies, how mannish are you according to this list (in other words, how sexist was it)?

Comments: Go!

24 October 2007

Blogging Tip: Use Real Quotes

What’s one thing that separates a great site from merely good sites?

Great sites use real quotes.

No, I’m not saying that other sites make things up (though I’m sure some do). This article is about the other kind of quotes.

Quotation Marks.

Okay, so what the heck am I talking about? Quotation marks are quotation marks are quotation marks, right? Just press Shift+apostrophe and you’ll get some.

Well, no, not exactly.

If you’re typing anywhere but in Microsoft Word (or another word processing program with Smart Quotes turned on), what you’ll get is not a set of quotation marks. Instead, you’ll be greeted with some of what I like to call Stupid Quotes (more commonly known as Dumb Quotes, straight quotes, or - somewhat incorrectly - a double prime, though this is another mark altogether, used for measurements and usually slanted).

What separates Stupid Quotes from Smart Quotes?

Here’s a comparison in some well-known typefaces:


The easy way to tell the two apart is that Stupid Quotes look like a Dunce Cap turned upside-down, and Smart Quotes look, well, nice. Like they were designed by a font-designer, not some grunt with a hammer and chisel.

Now you know the difference. How do you start rocking the intelligent use of this rather basic but supremely important typographical concept? Easy. Well, it takes a bit more effort than what you’re used to, but it’s worth it.

You can specify Smart Quotes by typing special codes known as HTML entities (don’t worry what this means, just go with me) where the quotes are supposed to go.

Here’s a handy table for reference:

How To Make A Smart Quote
Name Secret CodeVoila
Left Double Quote“ or “
Right Double Quote” or ”
Left Single Quote‘ or ‘
Right Single Quote’ or ’


Now, it takes some getting used to, but when you get the hang of it and start seeing the difference, there’s no turning back.

Don’t be a dummy. Do what the pros do and use Real Quotes. Real Smart Quotes.

It’s the cool thing to do.

23 October 2007

Did Google Make A Deal With Satan?




I mean, seriously.

Look at their stock price...if this isn’t the sign of the beginning of the End Times, then I apparently misunderstood the Left Behind series.

My advice: Buy.

No, sell.

Hmm...

Pray.

Big Ugly Fonts: Papyrus

If you’ve ever stabbed yourself in the face, chances are you understand the pain a designer feels when she is asked to set some type using Papyrus. If you’ve shot off the tips of your fingers with a machine gun, you can begin to appreciate the torture experienced by a designer realizing that the request is not just to set some headings in Papyrus, but body type. Paragraphs of doom.

No hyperbole here. Hell isn’t just other people. It’s other people who like this font.

Papyrus, a typeface designed in 1982 by a man named Chris Costello, is an abomination that graces the pages of far, far too many resort brochures and Microsoft Word-designed “fliers” (ed. note: using the word “designed” very loosely, here). “Costello described his goal as a font that would represent what English vernacular would have looked like if written on papyrus 2000 years ago.” Noble. Or idiotic. Only second-rate brands like AriZona tea and Crocodile Hunter could even pretend not to be ashamed for using this typeface that even its designer is tired of seeing.

Here’s what ITC, the current owner of Papyrus, has to say about it:

[Papyrus is an] unusual roman typeface [that] effectively merges the elegance of a traditional roman letterform with the hand-crafted look of highly skilled calligraphy.
And here’s how I would rewrite that sentence:
[Papyrus is an] unusually awful roman typeface [that] merges the inelegance and repugnance of a traditional roman latrine with the hand-crafted-by-a-four-year-old look of highly abhorrent melted-from-the-sun Crayola® crayon doodling.
And now, without further ado, I present to you the latest Big Ugly Font. Papyrus, in all her glory. Click the letters below to view the “carefully-designed” forms in horrifically huge image sizes.

And if you feel like being a total asshole, set one of your favorites as the wallpaper on your roommate’s computer.




























Gag me with a spoon. Slit my eyelids with sandpaper.

Previous Big Ugly Font: Arial

Tom Is Not My Friend

Word on the street is that my (and everyone’s) first “friend” on MySpace (Tom) has been lying to us all along to seem cool. Turns out, he’s considerably older than he let on in his profile - at least 36 or 37, not the 32 he claims to be. This sets a bad example and makes it okay for creepy old men to lie about their age to help them get more edgy underage chicks to “friend” them so they can see the emo, soft-porn, self-portraits.

MySpace was about trust. I trusted Tom. I trusted Rupert. I trusted NewsCorp. I trusted them and today that trust was betrayed.

On another note, I think I should probably update (fix) my age on the site...

22 October 2007

Tasty Del.icio.us Links Of The Day

Monday Links. Please let me go back to bed.



P.S. Dumbledore is gay. Just sayin’.

Information/Revolution



A new video by the great Mike Wesch of The Machine is Us/ing Us. This one is a great primer on the concept of tagging, and shares a good deal with (and even credits) David Weinberger’s latest book, Everything Is Miscellaneous.

Worth a watch.

19 October 2007

Keeping The Change

Wow. I just found that I’ve collected over $17 in change in my desk at work, from the rare occasions on which I spend cash. Sounds like a nice chunk of change. But it isn’t really.

This is saved over the last two years.

Contrast that with the over $500 I’ve accumulated using Bank of America’s “Keep The Change” program in the same time period.

Big difference, eh?

When I think about the weight that all those coins would’ve added to my life, and the incredible inconvenience of storing/collecting them and redeeming them for more easily-spendable forms of currency, I appreciate the magic of this program. In all likelihood, I would’ve lost or thrown out most of this money.

It does add up, I guess - all those pennies and nickels and dimes.

Using a check card to make all of your small (even large) purchases makes very good sense. Even if you don’t have a program like Keep The Change at your bank, where the virtual spare change from a purchase is automatically transfered to your savings account, you still completely eliminate the possibility of losing quarters here and there and having it add up to hundreds of dollars in losses by the end of the year.

I know that not every place is equipped with card-readers, but when a place is, there is no good reason not to use a check card to make the purchase - even if it’s something as small as a toothbrush.

P.S. Toothbrushes are freakin’ pricy these days. $3-something for a piece of plastic and some bristles? Where can I buy Oral-B in bulk?

18 October 2007

Google Music Coming Soon? Ever?


What if Google started to index MP3 files (and display them prominently when you search for an artist or album)?

How would that work?
Who would lose out?
Who would win?

How might adding music (to the existing YouTube, Orkut, and forthcoming secret stuff) boost Google’s social networking cred?

How would this fit in to Google’s long-term focus on mobile computing?

What if you could click one link to preview, and click another to purchase and download (automatically) from Amazon/Apple/EMusic/????

What else?

Is this even a possibility?

Tasty Del.icio.us Links Of The Day

How To Organize Your Music: Part 3


Here’s a quick addition to the How To Organize Your Music series. It’s a bit of a departure from the method the past posts have taken, but stay with me.

What if the best way to organize your music is to not organize it at all?

In many ways, search is becoming the new organization. It’s becoming less and less important to know where something is than to be able to access it when you want it. This is how Google works, and this seems to be the direction Apple is heading with Spotlight, which in Leopard will add the great feature of being able to search across a network. Simply type a couple letters and the results come flying into place. iTunes has Spotlight functionality built in, too, so it’s easy to find what you want when you want it.

This is obviously an entirely different philosophy than the one put forth by previous articles in this series, which focused on corralling, controlling, and compartmentalizing your music library. But there’s certainly a benefit to this model as well. It’s less time-consuming, for one, not using smart playlists and ratings and genres lets you focus on constructing playlists of songs, not of the more general sounds. Give it a try - focus on enjoying music, not on devising a system which will hopefully allow you to enjoy music in the future. There is only now. Getting Things Done (GTD) might work great for some parts of life, but when the framework stands in the way of your ability to enjoy and appreciate things, it defeats the purpose.

Resist the tendency to analyze and quantify. Let the computer do the work for you.

And just sit back and enjoy the tunes. After all, that’s the point, right?


More in How To Organize Your Music

17 October 2007

Third Party Apps On iPhone: February

Wow. This is from Apple’s “Hot News” page:

Third Party Applications on the iPhone

Let me just say it: We want native third party applications on the iPhone, and we plan to have an SDK in developers’ hands in February. We are excited about creating a vibrant third party developer community around the iPhone and enabling hundreds of new applications for our users. With our revolutionary multi-touch interface, powerful hardware and advanced software architecture, we believe we have created the best mobile platform ever for developers.

It will take until February to release an SDK because we’re trying to do two diametrically opposed things at once—provide an advanced and open platform to developers while at the same time protect iPhone users from viruses, malware, privacy attacks, etc. This is no easy task. Some claim that viruses and malware are not a problem on mobile phones—this is simply not true. There have been serious viruses on other mobile phones already, including some that silently spread from phone to phone over the cell network. As our phones become more powerful, these malicious programs will become more dangerous. And since the iPhone is the most advanced phone ever, it will be a highly visible target.

Some companies are already taking action. Nokia, for example, is not allowing any applications to be loaded onto some of their newest phones unless they have a digital signature that can be traced back to a known developer. While this makes such a phone less than “totally open,” we believe it is a step in the right direction. We are working on an advanced system which will offer developers broad access to natively program the iPhone’s amazing software platform while at the same time protecting users from malicious programs.

We think a few months of patience now will be rewarded by many years of great third party applications running on safe and reliable iPhones.

Steve

P.S.: The SDK will also allow developers to create applications for iPod touch. [Oct 17, 2007]

I still say that web apps was a brilliant idea...but this announcement is even better.

Saw it on MacRumors first.

New NYC Taxi Logo Design Sucks


The New York Times City Room blog has invited eight designers to critique the new look for NYC Taxis (and offer alternatives). The overwhelming opinion is that the logo chosen for the cabs totally sucks, and there are dozens of comments on each post to this effect. I strongly agree with the majority.

While the logo may (or may not) be an improvement over the original look (more of a non-look, I suppose), it still sucks from a lot of different perspectives.

Among the valid criticisms:

  • The T inside a circle is confusing and stupid. It is extremely similar to the T symbol used by Massachusetts’ transportation agency. It will also conflict with the symbol used for the Second Avenue subway line (which will be the T) when that finally gets built.

  • The new NYC logo (introduced semi-recently) looks bad on its own, and even worse on the side of a taxi. Designing the rest of the taxi logo to match this is unfortunate. There’s no compelling reason that it must be on the cars - I think we know this is New York - and it just makes the whole thing look rather clunky and unwieldy.

  • It’s impossible to read this when the cab is moving. I refuse to believe that a single person in the process ever asked the question, “What is the reason for this logo?” Had they done that, I think we would’ve seen something more legible, or at the very least - if they decided that the point wasn’t to make it legible, but rather simply for branding - far bolder and more risk-taking. Besides, when people look for cabs in traffic, they’re usually looking for a) the light box on the roof of the car or b) a yellow car. No one I know is standing at an intersection waiting for cars to stop so they can read whatever sign might be on the side. I won’t get into the inanity of including super-small-type fares on the doors, but that’s stupid, too.

  • The letter-spacing is just atrocious. It’s easy to mistakenly read the logo as “NYC T AXI,” or even miss the T altogether.
Clearly, this is a design that suffered (as all are wont to do) from the involvement of a committee (in this case, probably several). City Room takes a nice look at the various “Bumps” in the life of the design. To me, the concept was flawed from the beginning, but each iteration brought more issues, until what was at last decided-upon is just awful, has no personality, and is a gratuitous addition to the already-iconic NYC Yellow Taxis that will likely end up having a short shelf-life. If there is a God, that is.

Some pictures for comparison:

The Old


The New



Oooh. So awesome. Love the checkers! Not.

via the inestimable Kottke, by the way.

16 October 2007

Vanna White Talks About Fonts

Awesome video of Wheel of Fortune stars Vanna White and Pat Sajak talking about fonts during the closing credits.

Yeah, she says she uses Arial, but I won’t hate on her too much. She also mentions Helvetica, so it’s forgiven.

OSX Leopard To Ship October 26

Apple’s latest and greatest flavor of the OSX operating system - 10.5 or “Leopard” - will be shipping October 26. This date confirms most of the rumors flying around the last couple weeks. Pricing is the typical $129 for a single-user version and $199 for a family pack.

It’s looking to be a really solid upgrade to the already-pretty-great “Tiger,” offering over 300(!) great new features like “Quick Look,” “Spaces,” a much-improved Finder, and the feature to end all features, “Time Machine.”

Pre-order Leopard here.

15 October 2007

Tasty Del.icio.us Links Of The Day

Everything You Do Matters


This post is part of Blog Action Day, and is my contribution to the event, for which over 15,000 blogs have signed up to participate.

Everything You Do Matters


I can’t rattle off facts about the environment like I could in elementary school. I can’t quote data about climate change (or even lines from An Inconvenient Truth, for that matter). I can’t say for sure how much of a climate crisis our world is facing, and in what ways (if at all) our actions have contributed to an acceleration of global warming and its brethren. Will the polar ice caps melt? Will lower Manhattan become submerged? Will hurricanes and tornadoes and tsunamis and acid rain and fires cause irreparable damage to our precious planet, leading to conditions that are unlivable?

Or are we making a big fuss about nothing? Are the crises we’re observing part of a cycle? Is it possible that humans have an altogether insignificant effect on the health of the planet?

I can’t answer these questions.

And a lot of smarter people than me can’t agree on the answers either (though there are a lot of them who do agree). But what I want to say is that the answers to those questions are more or less irrelevant. What I want to say is that these questions are merely a way to frame the issue of individual and corporate and societal responsibility to life and health and livelihood and humanity as a political one. What I want to say is that taking care of the earth - and, as a consequence, ourselves - is and should not be a question. What I want to say is that politicizing the issue of global climate change leads to far too much fruitless debate, and far too little action.

What I want to say is that everything you do matters.

The world is connected, and each individual action is a world-changing one. In living our lives, we are not merely influencing things on a global scale. We are - in each moment, each choice, each gesture - creating a new world. Every moment life begins again, and in our hands is the ability to shape reality, to make things, and make things beautiful.

God or evolution or something we can’t even imagine has given us the ability to do magic with our hands and minds and hearts. By recognizing our responsibility to act, and, indeed, the impossibility of inaction, we can begin to see the importance of making deliberate, considered, aware decisions in everyday life. Not because you can “save the world,” but because you can increase your quality of life, and the quality of life for those around you and those who inhabit the earth after you.

What does this all mean practically?

  • It means that even if humans have little to do with climate change (indeed, even if it doesn’t exist), you should choose to live better.
  • It means that there is no excuse not the make more environmentally-aware decisions, because the benefits far outweigh the costs, even for large corporations, for whom the danger of failing to innovate and increase efficiency by adopting more stringent environmental standards is real.
  • It means that the littlest change in your everyday routine can make a major difference in your life and the lives of those around you.
  • It means that taking sides in a political debate on climate change is a waste of time, and serves only to increase spending on lobbyists to little end, and strengthen the partisan divide over an issue that intrinsically has nothing to do with the differences in philosophy between Republicans and Democrats.
I’m saying you should be selfish.

Not in the lazy manner to which most people are accustomed. Not selfishness created by lack of interest and motivation. But selfishness in the most proactive sense of the word.

I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t like life to be longer, better, easier - for themselves and for their children. Well, it’s time we started acting like it. Buying compact fluorescent light bulbs, reducing carbon emissions, investing in renewable sources of energy, driving less, walking more, eating better, replacing old stuff with more energy-efficient models - there are countless things you can do that are both unquestionably better for the environment, and unquestionably better for you, with benefits ranging from the financial to the time-saving, as well as increased health and well-being for you and your family and your community and your country and the world.

Be selfish. Not lazy. Choose to recognize the impact of every decision you make.

Everything you do matters. Don’t underestimate the power of one person.

Believe. Make. Imagine. Build. Create. Connect. Inspire. Embrace. Dream.

Life is too short not to care. Really. It’s far too short.


More on the environment:

12 October 2007

The Music Revolution Is Definitely Televised (And Radiohead Are Jerks)

So Radiohead did a really cool thing by releasing their latest album In Rainbows on their own website with a “pay as much as you think it’s worth” model. Very cool. Major labels are dead! Woo! And then Trent Reznor announced that Nine Inch Nails are now officially label-free. Jamiroquai and Oasis (ick - Blur is better!) also came out with promises to do similarly. Then Madonna signed a huge contract with Live Nation (not a real record company) to release some albums. The tide is shifting. Amazon and iTunes and EMusic all sell DRM-free music, and more and more people are starting to learn what that actually means. Good things, yeah. The record industry is in shambles! But where am I going with this?

Well, where I’m going is into the irony in the perception that Radiohead is leading this artist revolt. Why is this ironic? Because they also just announced that they will be releasing In Rainbows on CD with a major label. But of course they said this after they already got money from their most loyal fans (and other DRM-free advocates) for a low-bitrate version of an album with no packaging.

Die-hard fans may argue that they’d have purchased the online version (and paid the same for it) even if they knew of its forthcoming release on disc, but to the casual observer (and the hardcore DRM-free, labels-must-die revolutionaries), this looks like little more than a (brilliant, yes) marketing stunt.

Let’s pretend like we’re changing the business so that people talk about us on blogs and television and newspapers and the anarchist torrent leechers actually pay for our record on principle and then people everywhere will love us and worship us as the band who changed the world even though everyone knows that U2 is the coolest because Bono is the MAN and isn’t sad what’s happening in Africa then we’ll sell lots of records because our bestest fans will buy it twice or three times at least and we’ll sell concert tickets to kids who weren’t even alive when “Creep” was on the radio which oh god was so long ago and why doesn’t anyone care about us anymore please please care hey look at me look at me we have a new album...

I mean, Radiohead is cool and all, but this move is pretty lame.

Who knows, maybe I’m just bitter than Radiohead refuses to sell their music on the iTunes Store because they are against selling single tracks (on artistic grounds). Of course, they, like everybody, do this anyway when they release “singles.” More hypocrisy? I guess we’ll see if they’ve changed their ways if they refuse to let their record company release a single from In Rainbows.

What do you think?

Al Gore Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

When I wrote about Al Gore being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize back in February, I never really thought that he’d be selected. But he was. Wow.

Gore shares the prize with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC, Switzerland) “for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change.”

Congratulations, Mr. Gore. And thanks.

Also of note are the prize-winners for Physics (Frenchman Albert Fert and the German Peter Grünberg), who developed a technology that basically gave birth to iPod by enabling the miniaturization of hard disks.

More info on the Peace Prize here.

11 October 2007

Secret Freelance Tips

Awesome list of tips on marketing your freelance career from the frequently-awesome Freelance Switch website. My favorite?

2. Double your fees. Whaaa? You heard right. Why? Because price implies quality. Hundreds of millions have been spent trying to understand the psychology of pricing. And, one thing we’ve learned is that, without realizing it, people automatically assume that if something is expensive, there must be a reason for it.

If you price yourself at the bottom of the market in an effort get more clients faster, especially in the early days of your career, you may be doing yourself a huge disservice. Prospective clients look at someone who quotes rock-bottom prices and think, “there’s got to be something wrong with them. Nobody worthwhile is that cheap.”

Plus, even if you get clients with a low-cost strategy, you’ll very likely end up with that very “special” posse of clients whose main concern is price, not quality, and those are the clients who are 100% guaranteed to suck the life out you every chance they get. So, while you may not feel comfortable setting your fees at the top of the market, be careful about going too low as well.
On that note, my price for this incredible service is now $50.

10 October 2007

Tasty Del.icio.us Links Of The Day

“Kill Me Now” Edition:

Posting About Posting About Not Posting: This Is Far Too Meta Even For Me!

Because I don’t really have time to post (!), I’m going to point you to a post about not posting about how you aren’t posting. It’s from a pretty great blog by Matt Thommes (self-proclaimed “developer and alternative thinker”), and well worth a read if you didn’t see it last month.

Instead of posting about your lame life and why you can’t post, he recommends that you...

...make it worthwhile. God knows you haven't been sitting in a box thinking about nothing. There has to be something that caught your attention during your posting drought:
Rather than posting, I've been brainstorming new ideas about using the internet to thwart global warming! Here's what I think...
So there it is - I’m off trying to save the world. That’s why this is all I have time to write today. Being a superhero in the Age of Information is hard work!

Thanks for the great excuse, Matt!

09 October 2007

Next Monday Is Blog Action Day


Monday, October 15, is Blog Action Day, a day when thousands of bloggers worldwide unite around a single topic - the environment. It’s a great idea, and I’m excited about posting. If you’ve got a blog, it’d be awesome if you signed up and let me know. I’ll try to link to a ton of other great posts on Blog Action Day, so if you want to be included in my list, just drop a comment with a link, and, if you already know, some info about your upcoming post.

Here’s the official Blog Action Day promo video:

Google’s Flying Stock

In case you missed the news yesterday, Google’s stock price leapt to over $609 a share, the highest in the company’s history, and pretty freaking huge if you ask me. Look at this chart:

How long can they continue to climb? $1000? $2000? Anyone ready to cash in?

08 October 2007

The Secret Of Christopher Columbus

This morning, as I begin work on a day when those more fortunate than me are sitting home in bed, I thought it worth considering just what the deal is with this Christopher Columbus guy, for whom we should allegedly be celebrating today.

In one of the more widely disseminated and altogether blatant lies spoonfed to schoolchildren across the U.S., it is noted that this man “discovered America” in 1492 on a couple boats christened the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa María. Of course, this “fact” is complete bunk - America had been discovered ages earlier (not by white people however, and, as we know, they are the only people that matter. Just see popular depictions of Jesus if you doubt this) - as is much of what we know about Columbus in general.

Take the controversy of his national origins, to start. Italians claim him as their own (and celebrate perhaps most fervently on days like today), and it is pretty well accepted that he was born Genoa, but some folks like to think that he was Spanish, Portugese, or even Greek. I mean, I can’t blame them. If your country has white people, wouldn’t being associated with the guy who single-handedly discovered and colonized and founded the greatest country on Earth do wonders for your national tourism? I mean, really. Claiming Columbus is just about as good as claiming Jesus, but the Jews already get to do that. You know...reparations for the Holocaust and all.

Then there’s his name. Is it Christopher Columbus, like the director of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, or could it be one of these: Christophorus Columbus, Cristoforo Colombo, Cristóbal Colón?

And what does he look like? Well, like this, right? White guy, italian-looking, a bit effete, normal-looking, like he could be from Massachusetts.


Yeah, except he had red hair, which turned white when he got older (could he have been Irish?!), and pasty white skin that easily burned in the sun.

All these things, and more.

But the worst of the worst is the common (American) belief that what made Columbus great was his (prescient) insistence that the earth was round (which is to say, a sphere), not flat (as in, a round disc, not a square), and he zealously promoted this view to the apparently astronomically stupid “Europeans,” so that he’d be allowed to take some boats past the edge. “Off the deep end” is a phrase I’d like to use for people who still believe this drastically warped version of scientific history.

For crying out loud, it was commonly accepted that the earth was spherical as far back as Ancient Greece (even being used in Dante’s Divine Comedy). Plus, it bears mentioning that Columbus was rather inept at map-reading, having misinterpreted the length of a mile and believing that the earth was a full 15,000 kilometers shorter in circumference than it actually is (as was established by Eratosthenes in the second century BC). Dumb idiot. No 15th century boat could carry enough food and water for the trip he hoped to make. But this Italian guy, eager to get ahead for the Spanish for some reason, insisted on going for it because he had nothing else to do, and some stupid calculations coupled with a bit of (mis)fortune and ignorance about the (supposed lack of) presence of a landmass between Europe and Asia, and bam! New Country! Best One Ever! Let’s Name It After Me And Call It...America! Wait, That’s Not My Name! Hey! I Discovered This Place! I Killed The Indians First!!! Hey! Celebrate Me! I’m A Visionary, Just Like All Americans! I Mean, Columbians! Yeah! Columbia...That’s What It Should Be Called. Oh, There’s Already A Place Named After Me? Do They Have Any Gold Or Spices There? What’s That?...Cocaine? Hmm...

Hmm.

05 October 2007

30 Days Of Night


I’m looking forward to this movie. In theatres October 19th, 30 Days Of Night (official site) looks like the best Halloween fun to be had this year (with the possible, hard-to-admit-in-public exception of Saw IV, which I also want to see, but will probably wait for the DVD). The movie, based on a graphic novel, is about vampires in Alaska. You can’t get a more badass premise than that.

What new movies are you looking forward to?

04 October 2007

Tasty Del.icio.us Links Of The Day

“Read The First Link” Edition:

Google Celebrates Sputnik With A New Doodle

Google’s celebrating the 50th anniversary of Sputnik today, with a pretty fancy treatment of their logo. Nicely done. And happy anniversary space! Read more about the anniversary here.

And here are some of my past posts with Google Doodles.

Why Does The Apple Store Close So Damn Much?


Interesting story this morning on 9to5Mac that poses the question: “Apple Store Outtages - Reality Distortion or Substandard Ecommerce?”

When the Apple Online Store goes down, and visitors are met with the now-iconic yellow Post-It note, and bloggers all over start frothing at the mouth at the prospect of being first to break news about the newest product addition or price change or layout tweak so they set their browser to auto-refresh every 2.5 seconds - is it on purpose, or is it because Apple has a crappy backend system?

I’m inclined to think it’s more the former than the latter. Once upon a time, it was tougher to bring out sweeping updates to an ecommerce site like Apple’s. Nowadays, though, you’d have to be doing things pretty exceedingly wrong to require a complete takedown just to update a couple little things. What I think is happening here is simply an case of Apple understanding it’s place in the business world, and knowing what it means to be Apple. Unlike Dell or Amazon, for example, who add new merchandise to their stores all the time, when Apple introduces a new product it is an event. Closing the store is a way of increasing the weight of the introduction - it’s in the re-opening of the doors that the magic of the new look, the new featured products, really hits home. Apple knows better than anyone how to cultivate buzz, and making people wait in line to get in is a great way to increase the special-ness of the experience.

But how to explain the store going down for incidental changes? Consistency, I think. And because they know that they’re in the public eye, and that hundreds of knee-jerk gotta-get-some-pageviews bloggers will publish a post simply to say the store is down. And then they’ll put up another post to say “nothing to see here, folks. Move along.” Or they’ll do that, and then five minutes later put up another post about some new product or section or layout change, and their readers will reply that, no, bozo, that was four days thirteen hours six minutes and 24 seconds ago. God. And then another post (or update) to say, “Oh. Readers have said this is old. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.” Whether or not it was designed like this from the beginning isn’t relevant. What is, is how Apple has turned these outages into huge traffic-drivers, unpaid advertising and word-of-mouth, and, consequently, money-makers.

And so on and so on, and this is how brand mythology works.

Even if the Apple Store really does have a crappy backend, and these outages are out of necessity, there is a lesson to be learned here. What happens when your site goes down, or your business is closed? What are customers greeted with? Do they get a default 404 page, a crappy handwritten sign sloppily taped to the door, or a fancy post-it note?

Which one do you think will increase the chances they’ll be back later?

03 October 2007

Reasons Not To Buy A Zune This Christmas: 2007


To commemorate last night’s official announcement of the next generation of Microsoft’s Zune music player (not available until mid-November!), here is an updated version of my popular post from last year, “Reasons Not To Get A Zune This Christmas.” Changes are in red, and replacements have been stricken.

First, a little primer: This week Microsoft released generation 2 of their Zune music player in order to directly compete with Apple’s commanding lead in the personal audio market. They still want some of that big, big pie that Apple made not too many years ago, and has, for the most part, kept all to itself. The Zune is the most recent in the long list of supposed failed “iPod Killers”, and honestly, if any company could kill the iPod, it would probably be Microsoft Apple itself. But never fear Apple faithful - I simply do not see that happening anytime soon. But we haven’t reached the commentary phase yet. I am still being objective. So back to the point - what is the Zune? Simply put, it is a portable music player that comes with an 80GB hard drive (and a 4 and 8GB iPod Nano-like version). It has a three (point two!)-inch color screen, plays video, shows your photos, and allows Wi-Fi transferring of songs to other Zune players nearby (and synching with your computer). The Zune comes in three four colors - white, black, green, pink, and brown red, and is controlled by what looks like an iPod clickwheel a feminine hygiene product but is actually just four directional buttons on a circular disc a touch-sensitive directional hygiene product. Microsoft has created updated the Zune Marketplace - like the iTunes Store - for purchasing your music (and later, movies). There is also jukebox/syncing software that lets you manage playlists and listen to music on your PC (it is not currently still not Mac-compatible). Oh, and FM radio, I guess. Woo.

Okay, enough of the unbiased description. Now is where the review part of the review happens. Disclosure: I do not have a Zune. I have not seen or touched one in person. I touched one. It was traumatic. If you want to send me one to do a more proper “review” please go right ahead. I can be contacted at kevin at frivolousmotion dot com. What this means is I am speaking nothing but the truth. Buy a Zune at your own risk, but not after reading this review all the way through. If you don’t, you will regret it. And, even if you do read it, and decide “Hey, it doesn’t sound that bad,” you’ll probably regret it. You will most certainly still regret it.

So here goes. I am now going to abandon paragraphs and things for the super-popular list format.

  1. Brown? What?!! What kind of retro-hipster freaks are you targeting Brown to? Are you planning on making Zune the “Official Media Player of the UPS” for crying out loud?! Eww.
    They killed Brown. No more poop jokes. Now, just Maxi Pad jokes (see above).
  2. It is bigger than the current iPod (even compared to the 80GB 160GB version).
  3. It is heavier than the current iPod (even compared to the 80GB 160GB version).
  4. It has a shorter battery life than the current iPod (which doesn’t even begin to approach the 24-hour life of the new iPod Nano). I haven’t heard any battery life claims yet.
  5. Crippled Wi-Fi sharing that restricts shared music to three plays or three days before deactivating and prompting you to purchase it. This applies even if you are the artist who recorded the song and want to share it with your Zune-carrying friends, and even though the Zune Marketplace will be filled with DRM-free music. Someone else said, “Microsoft puts the DRM in DRM-free.”
    Corollary to 5: Where are you going to find someone else with a Zune so that you can share? Are you seriously going to approach a stranger and try to send them the newest Timberlake tune? Do you want that random guy/girl on the subway to punch you in the face? (Worst pickup line of the new millenium: Is that a Zune in your pocket...) But seriously, for Microsoft to make the main feature of the device (the file sharing) something that relies completely on the device becoming ubiquitous is a major gamble. Without it, the Zune is basically a bigger, less pretty, and more socially irresponsible iPod.
  6. What looks like a clickwheel ain’t a clickwheel. It is a multidirectional click pad (four poles, plus center) that works in a context-sensitive way context- and touch- sensitive panty liner. What does that mean? It means that you won’t always know what to push to do what you want. Sometimes left will go back a song, sometimes it might changes menus, sometimes it might vote for Al Gore. Not cool. And because you have to flip the player on its side to watch video, that means the directions switch by 90 degrees. Confused yet?
  7. Wait, you have to turn it to watch videos? Whatever, I do this on iPhone and it’s not a big deal.
  8. Installing the Zune sucks.
  9. You can’t use real money in the Zune Marketplace. You have to buy blocks of points (79 points equals 99 cents - easy conversion, right?) in increments of $10 (starting at $5 for 400 points). How much music do you have to buy to totally use up all your points? I won’t do the math, but the answer is: A lot.
  10. The application crashes all the time. Hopefully not anymore!
  11. If you buy a subscription plan (something like $15 a month lets you listen to unlimited tracks - though you can’t burn them to disc or keep them if you stop your subscription), certain tracks from what sounds like a lot of albums aren’t available. Meaning, you need to plop down at least five bucks to purchase the popular tunes individually. That is not cool. EDIT: I have no gripe about the subscription model - lots of places do it like that. But disabling certain songs unless you purchase them individually is not cool.
  12. None of the songs you bought in the iTunes store are playable on the Zune.
  13. None of the songs you bought for other players via Microsoft’s OWN PlayForSure format are playable on the Zune. This is absolutely insane.
  14. It doesn’t have calendars, contacts, podcasts, notes, games, etc. Not that I use those, but for some people those things are big. Sound the sirens! Zune supports podcasts!
  15. Lots of the album art is too small for the screen, and it looks bad when scaled.
  16. No Mac support. I suppose it could work if you have a new one and can boot XP from it. But I’m not sure about that. This is an oversight that goes way beyond competition, and way beyond PC marketshare. There’s a lot of potential users (Zunies? Zunesters? Zuners? Zunesketeers?) who happen to use Macs at home, and may have older-gen iPods and looking for a replacement. And what about all the people who have recently switched to Mac after trying and loving an iPod? Doesn’t MS want to win them back? Guess not.
  17. No small version. The iPod Nano is the biggest selling mp3 player, and the iPod didn’t really start to take off until the Mini was released. Why couldn’t Microsoft have developed a cute little device for the kiddies?
  18. EDIT: No true smart playlists. Way to give power users the boot. I guess these are just ultra-hidden.
EDIT - I just read this on O’Reilly:

Feel uncomfortable with Microsoft's watching your every move in Zune? Opt out. Say "No." Stand up for your rights.

Unless you make the affirmative choice to keep Microsoft out, you are by default enrolled in Microsoft's "Zune Customer Experience Improvement Program." This program assumes you want to improve Microsoft's bottom line (and nosiness) by allowing it to monitor your Zune software usage.

There’s more, but for now I think that will suffice. Maybe if I actually try one out I’ll post some more thoughts. Ultimately, I think this is a case of too little - too late (again). Microsoft has introduced another line of less-functional, less powerful versions of a mega-popular product, and included basically no innovations only one innovation that is seriously crippled to begin with! If they had truly wanted to compete with Apple for a share of the market, we should have seen a cool-looking device (the new ones look much better than the first generation, but that’s only because they look a lot more like iPods now) that offered more disk space with a slimmer profile, better syncing, more options and features, even cheaper music(!) and eliminated some of the crazy DRM that pisses me off about Apple from time to time. Instead MS has agreed to pay Universal a dollar for every Zune sold. Clearly they aren’t bending over backwards for the consumers (as Apple appears to do by fighting to keep prices stable) - it looks like the opposite, in fact, and anything that doesn’t immediately suggest that Microsoft is a full year or more behind Apple and playing a ridiculously flawed game of catch-up.

Please don’t get anyone a Zune for Christmas. If they ask for one (which they might, poor souls), say it is too much money (which it is) and buy them something else cool. Then, sneak a fabulous iPod Shuffle in their stocking (only $79 and awesome! I’ve touched it, so I know.) Really. Don’t make this a bad Christmas for anyone.

Buying a Zune = Coal in your stocking next year and Baby Jesus Crying.

Still true. Don’t be tempted.