You Suck At Email Advertising

Dear Companies trying to capitalize on a large user base by selling dedicated email blasts to advertisers of related work,

When you send an email offer to your list with a subject line like the following “Save up to 50% on New Broadway Show!” and then fail to include either a banner from your site, your site’s name, or - most importantly - an unsubscribe link anywhere in the body of the email, you have just done a very bad thing.

Not only is it illegal to not include an unsubscribe link, but you have also just caused extreme damage to the brand/product that has paid you to advertise.

Now this “New Broadway Show” (and the poor unsuspecting ad agency who may have put their name and link down at the bottom) is seen as sending unsolicited email with no clear way to opt-out. This email will be marked as spam (even though the recipients did actually opt in to this list), and the ad agency and the show will be hit with a barrage of really pissed of patrons with email subject lines such as “Take Me Off Your Fucking List!,” and “OMFG, Do Not Want!”

Conversion rates will plummet, goodwill towards the advertiser will evaporate (negative word of mouth can kill), the ad agency will be seen as evil spammers, and you - the true culprit in this heinous crime - will emerge scot-free.

Scot-free, that is, until the ad agency writes apologetic emails to the offended patrons explaining that you alone are responsible for such a reprehensible act, that they strongly disagree with the way the campaign was handled, and will never, ever advertise with you again. For any of their clients. Ever.